Bad TV is so good

Tonight I wasted more than two hours watching crap TV. What's crap TV, you ask? Well with approximately 1000 reality shows on daily, there are far too many to name in this blog, but my two favorite for the night were "The Bachelor" and "True Beauty."

There was absolutely nothing truly beautiful about any of the contestants in "True Beauty." The show has a bunch of pretty faces living together in fabulous house and trying to be the most beautiful person in the world or something. The twist is (insert dramatic pause and commercial break here) while these folks are flexing their biceps and wearing the skimpiest bikini tops (and those are just the men) the judges are using "spy cams" to decide which contestant has the most/least inner beauty. The contestants need to pass several "be nice" tests that any human would ace, but, of course, prove too difficult for the doll-like creatures on the show. So far, the show is a bit light on the inner beauty and a bit heavy on the plastic.

"The Bachelor" sent 10 single girls home brokenhearted and loveless tonight. How brokenhearted can they be after meeting some guy for a couple of hours? I mean, sure, the bachelor is cute and all, but these girls have probably not fallen in love with him in the first episode. Wait. I forgot, it is possible because all these girls are completely crazy. They have been online stalking this guy and are telling him all about himself. Hello. He knows himself. A better strategy might be to tell him something about themselves. Preferably not something about their "vision charts," ideal weddings and horrible exes. Mentioning any of these things will surely not result in a coveted rose. Trust me, I know. I've been watching this show for years.

Why are these people so desperate, and how did they get so mean? I like to think the show producers edit the material to make these girls and guys seem more psycho, but the contestants must have actually said these things, right? And they do know they're being filmed, right? It's all very confusing. Maybe you have to be a bit psycho to understand it. Maybe not getting it means I'm not nuts? Then again, I did waste two hours watching this dribble. That's a bit crazy.