Christmas 2009 was very merry

Jeff, Sassy, Alley and I hosted Christmas at home with my sister Anne, her boyfriend Luke, aunt Anita, cousin Ian and his girlfriend Kim. Oh, and Anne and Luke's dogs Kapono and Maggie. On Christmas Eve, we had a few friends (Sonya, Alan and Kara) over.

The people had a great time eating turkey and ham, drinking wine and cocktails, wearing crowns and chatting. The dogs had a better time chasing each other, destroying stuffed toys, barking at nothing, fighting over crumbs and inhaling milk bones.

Here are a few photos from our Christmas gatherings. The crowns come from Christmas crackers which are an English tradition in our family. Christmas crackers are tube-shaped paper presents which make a popping sound (similar to a crackling fire) when opened. Each cracker contains a paper crown, a toy and a joke.

I hope you all had as lovely (and filling) a Christmas as we did. Happy holidays!


Dawn and Jeff are king and queen of Beaver Court on Christmas Eve.

Alan tried to get out of wearing his Christmas crown by saying his cracker didn't have one, but he couldn't fool Dawn who found a crown (in pink) for him to wear.

Don't be fooled by sweet-seeming Kara. The minute she received her Christmas Eve crown she made a run for the throne.

The centerpiece of our Christmas dinner was this... fried turkey. I was glad Jeff, Luke and Ian still had all their limbs when this bird was done. I have to admit that it was delicious.

Confession: A beautiful wood dining table doesn't exist under these linens. Hiding under tablecloths and chair covers are two card tables and seven folding chairs.

O.K. it's not the reason for the season, but eating is a huge part of the season. Here's our Christmas Day feast.



Alley waits patiently to see what presents Santa brought.

Merry first Christmas to Anne's puppy Maggie, who has quickly become best friends with Alley.


Sassy is tired after spending the day as a sizzlin' elf.


Alley wants to be one of the princesses (Anne, Anita, Kim and Dawn), but she doesn't want to wear the crown.


Oh, the kings (Luke, Jeff and Ian) do jest.


After attempting to play the role of king, Luke declares himself a reindeer.

Kapono refuses to share the chair with Anne. He says she sheds everywhere.


The dogs are sleeping after two days of Christmas celebrations and way too many milk bones.

A good time was had by all except this poor giraffe who lost his tail after one morning of "life."

All I want for Christmas is a better attitude

I might be a bad person. I have discovered that I don't like helping others.

I know, I am officially on Santa's naughty list. But, let's not kid ourselves. It's unlikely that I was ever on his nice list.

My recent bah-humbug attitude is due to this program at work where we get letters from folks who need clothes, food, shoes and coats. Oh, yeah, and video-game systems. (Oops that was another Grinch moment.) Anyway, the program is a great idea in theory. Those who have give to those who have not. But make a few follow-up phone calls, and you'll quickly wonder just how needy these folks are. For example, a 22-year-old mother of three told me that she'd never worked because the "government money was pretty good." Nice. I would now like to point out that when I was 17 years old, I worked at Steak and Shake and cleaned vomit off bathroom floors.

Some of these letter writers really bring out my inner Grinch.

Two years ago Jeff and I delivered gifts to a young couple who had a nicer TV than we had. Last year, we took presents to a grandmother who was using empty Smirnoff vodka bottles as her mantle-piece decor. The intoxicated not-yet-40-year-old grandma asked if "that was it" after we placed several bags of wrapped presents in her living room.

So, what do you think? Is my bah-humbug attitude justified?

No. Standing behind these dysfunctional adults are children. Young boys and girls deserve Christmas presents even if (and maybe especially if) their parents suck. After all, don't these kids need gifts the most?

I feel less bah-humbuggy, and maybe even a little Christmasy, when I remember the little girl who ran out of her grandma's house last year to say thanks and give me a hug.

Welcome, Maggie!

The highlight of my Thanksgiving was meeting my new puppy niece, Maggie. Anne (my sister), Luke (her boyfriend) and Kapono (their eldest dog-child) added little Maggie to the family two weeks ago.

Luckily, Maggie got along with Sassy and Alley, my dogs and Maggie's cousins. Sassy quickly established her place as top dog by barking and growling at Maggie until she bowed down to the great red dog. Alley gave Maggie a warmer welcome by chasing her around and giving her the good ole stiff-test.

Here are some photos:


Maggie adores the stuffed soccer ball. And by adore, what I mean is, she wants to tear out the stuffing and shake the ball until she's sure, really sure, it's dead.


Maggie's family. She's not trying to escape. Really she isn't. She saw a piece of raw steak lying on the floor. That's all. She's just curious.


Anne keeps Alley from eating her birthday cupcakes while Maggie takes advantage of the moment and lunges for the table. Yum! Puppies like frosting.


Maggie enjoys chewing on her cousin's pet frog and lying on her pink, leopard-print dog bed.


Maggie finds a quiet place to chew on her new Gingerbread toy.


Little Miss. Maggie became a conehead when an adult wasn't watching. She was spayed a week ago and she wasn't allowed to bother her stitches. Poor thing.


Maggie falls asleep while we're watching "Bolt," a movie about a dog. How rude! Sassy will need to teach her some puppy manners ASAP. Luckily, Jeff and Luke fell asleep first, so Maggie didn't get too much grief.

Midnight madness for 'New Moon'

I went to the midnight screening of "The Twilight Saga: New Moon" on Thursday. Yes, I am a teenage girl.

My friend Lily really wanted to go and because I am the sort of person who encourages the obsessions of others, I was happy to go along. We dragged our husbands with us because that's just the sort of girls we are.

The film completely sold out. The movie showed in all 15 theaters at the biggest cinema in town. The enthusiasm of the crowd was contagious and before I even found a seat, I declared myself a member of Team Jacob. Lily chose Team Edward and Jeff created his own Team Alice.

Lily smartly bought tickets for a 9 p.m. screening of "Twilight" so we could stay in our seats for the midnight screening of "New Moon." When we went to the restroom between movies, we were shocked at how many people were waiting to get into the theater. We giggled, like teenage girls, at all those poor folks standing in line before congratulating ourselves on our cleverness.

I give this movie a rating of 2 minis (click here to learn my system). The midnight experience earns a rating of no minis, the best score possible. Even the tiredness I felt Friday morning at work didn't dampen my spirits.

For those not in the know, "New Moon" is the second film in the "Twilight" series. The movies are based on the books of the same names by Stephenie Meyer. In "Twlight" a high schooler named Bella moves from her mom's Arizona house to Forks, Wash. to live with her dad. She promptly falls in love with the hot guy at school and later finds out he's a vampire. He and his family are vegetarians (they abstain from drinking human blood and only feed off of animals). Bella hangs out with Edward's family and everything is great until a group of bad, human-blood-sucking vampires come to Forks and decide they want to kill Bella. They fail.

In "New Moon" Edward flees Forks and Bella, for her own safety. Bella becomes friends with Jacob, who is, of course, a werewolf. Vampires and werewolves are mortal enemies but Jacob's family and Edward's family have a treaty that allows them to co-exist peacefully. Edward is in love with Bella. Jacob is in love with Bella. Bella is in love with Edward but loves Jacob.

The story is corny and utterly unrealistic but somehow the characters are believable. The special affects aren't actually very special, but it doesn't matter. This is a compelling tale of love conquering evil. Oh, and hotties Edward and Jacob spend much of the film shirtless.

Happy Birthday, Anne

Anne receives a look-a-alike award from the Chick-fil-A cow. Dawn is, as always, supportive.

Today is my sister Anne's birthday. I'm not saying how old she is, but let's just say this could be the tenth anniversary of her 21st birthday.

In honor of Anne's special day, I've compiled a list of Life Lessons By Anne. You see, it wasn't always easy for Anne growing up with a bossy, know-it-all big sister. Hopefully, you'll learn a little something by reading this.

1. The Easter bunny is actually an evil child-eating monster who lives under the bed of the youngest sister. The beast won't attack as long as all chocolate eggs and bunnies are given to the oldest sister.

2. If you see a few hairs in your hairbrush, you are losing your hair. The only way to ensure that you won't be bald by age 15 is to carefully place the loose hairs on top of your head. If you walk carefully all day at school, the hairs will reattach themselves to your scalp.

3. You're allowed to hang out with your sister's older, cooler friends as long as you don't speak.

4. There are times when it's cool for sisters to pretend they are twins, but most times it's best to act like strangers.

5. Mom doesn't need to know everything that happens at school, on the playground, at the neighbor's house or at the pool. It's for her own good. You don't want to get her upset.

6. Things that get broken at home are always the fault and responsibility of the younger sister. Even if it appears the older sister broke a vase, the younger sister "made her do it because she was in the way."

7. Letting your older sister cut your hair is a very good idea.

8. Knuckle sandwiches don't taste good. And seefood is not the same as seafood.

9. Sharing is good when the toys belong to the little sister, but unfortunately, it's against the law for the older sister to share her toys, otherwise she would totally do it.

10. Being adopted is nothing to be ashamed of even if your birth parents are in jail for stealing toys from disabled orphans on Christmas Eve.

Racing for the arts

Steeplechase, my favorite Georgia event, was Saturday. Horses race around a beautiful course at Callaway Gardens while guests set up picnics around the "track" to watch the races and socialize.

It's an all-day event that focuses more on fashion, cocktails and eating than horse racing. But that's O.K. because the event is a fundraiser for the arts with money going to the museum, symphony and theater in Columbus.

This is the third year that Jeff and I have gone with Anne, Lily, Alan and Sonya. This year we had our largest group yet with 15 people (Stefanie and Andy, Morgan, Chuck and Cathy, Meredith and Mike, Frank and Lauren).

We had two terrace boxes, plus a few extra seats, this year. The ground in the terrace-level boxes has been leveled so that nothing leans downward despite being hillside. We bring our own folding tables and tablecloths. Centerpieces and table decorations are a must. Paper plates and plastic cups are frowned upon (at least by me). Some guests even bring chair covers to give the provided folding chairs a bit of glam. For those wanting a more casual atmosphere, there's a less expensive infield (where Jeff keeps threatening he's going to buy tickets) where it appears the picnics are more like tailgates with chairs in a bag and red plastic cups being the accessories of choice. There are also kids' activities and food vendors. The fanciest area at steeplechase is the Guarantor Tent where I'm told the finer side of society sit at tables and watch the races while sipping mint juleps and snacking on chef-prepared appetizers. (I wouldn't know myself since I've yet to be invited into the high-society tent).

There are all sorts of fashion dos and don'ts at Steeplechase. Many women wear hats, heels and dresses while the men mostly sport khakis and blue shirts. (Why do all men's dress shirts seem to be blue?) However, there are plenty of jeans, boots, shorts and tanktops, too.

One of the most enjoyable parts of planning for the event (besides hat shopping, of course) is organizing the menu. It's not unusual to see guests set up full bars and platters of chilled shrimp and crab cakes. However, it's also not rare to see bags of chips and coolers of bud light. Our group had a wonderfully delicious variety of food and drinks. Lauren made her famous guacamole dip; Lily made pecan pies; Stefanie brought homemade muffins and crackers and cheese; Cathy and Chuck prepared wild boar sandwiches, muffuletta, brownies, bacon wrapped dates and chicken wings; Jeff and I made our annual chicken salad and steak salad sandwiches; and Anne made apricot and cherry scones, chocolate croissants and trail mix. Everyone brought several bottles of wine, coolers of beer and, of course, the horse-race favorite: bourbon.

I think this was the best Steeplechase yet, and I can hardly wait to start planning next year's event.


Jeff and Alan chill between horse races.


Stefanie did her hat shopping at Steeplechase and found this cute wear-more-than-once hat.


Doesn't our table look festive and the food look yummy?


Anne takes a break from grazing the buffet tables to chat with Sonya and Alan.


One hat is not enough at Steeplechase. You must exchange hats to get many different looks for your photos.


Jeff is certainly one of the best dressed men at the event. I think this year's hat was a bit gangster (Al Capone) not to be confused with gangsta (50 cent).


This was Morgan's first Steeplechase since he was busy fighting for our country's freedom the past two years. He got into the spirit with this Burberry hat and bowtie.


Anne was too hot in her sweater so she changed into a T-shirt. It was from the 2007 Steeplechase — our first.


I wish I'd made these cupcakes. The toppers have chocolate jockeys, fences and dogs. These treats were part of the terrace box which won the newspaper's best box contest. So cute!


Everyone prepared delicious food to share with the group. Our tables look pretty good, if I do say so myself. And I do.


Jeff plays photographer without putting down his cigar. Clever.


See it's not just about the food and socializing. There are horse races. And we watch the races.


If we weren't paying attention to the races, how would we know who's horse won? Luckily my horse "Best Alibi" won the last race of the day. My time-tested and often-made-fun-of method of picking horses based on their names works again. Jeff chooses based on stats. Jeff didn't win any races. Luckily Jeff's lovely wife offered to share her $6 winnings.

Wine on Wednesday, beer on Saturday

To celebrate Jeff's birthday we went to a wine tasting. On a Wednesday. The wines weren't great, but the pours were generous. When we woke up Thursday, we really wished it was Saturday.

Thankfully, when Saturday arrived everyone was feeling celebratory again. An Oktoberfest celebration was being held at Fort Benning and we all wanted to honor our German heritage with large quantities of beer, brats and sauerkraut.

Here are some pictures from our eventful week.


Strangers kept dumping their empties on our table. How rude!


Aren't Jeff and I cute in our coats at Oktoberfest? You know what's not cute? Forty-degree temperatures in the South in mid-October.


Burrr. Lily and Morgan cuddle to keep warm at Oktoberfest.


Stefanie, who's from Connecticut, wore a jacket and scarf to Oktoberfest. Andy, who's from Georgia, did not. Stefanie was nice and warm. Andy was not.


A couple of German guys put down their steins to take a picture with Lily, me and Stefanie.


Lily borrowed my totally awesome gloves (which she laughed at until her tiny fingers turned to ice) for this picture with Andy.


Jeff "sneaks" into Sonya and Alan's photo after his birthday wine tasting. He's really sly.


Jeff rules his birthday a success and gives his victory cheer.


Stefanie and Andy pose for a nice photo. Jeff decided not to sneak in and refused to take a "nice" photo with his wife. He did make many inappropriate faces in photos, but the wife has deleted them.


Lily (pictured with husband Morgan) says we didn't drink too much, we just didn't eat enough. So true!


Alan shares Jeff's passion for real martinis which are only made with gin — preferably Blue Sapphire Gin. Sonya and I prefer a tasty pinot grigio or faux martinis made with vodka and fruity liquors.

Happy birthday, Jeff

Today is the 20th anniversary of Jeff's 21st birthday. I didn't know Jeff when he turned 21. He says this is a good thing. This makes me think 21-year-old Jeff was a bit immature.

Forty-one-year-old Jeff is the perfect combination of mature and immature.

He still jumps over the couch, but he doesn't spend all day napping on it.

He no longer considers HotPockets nutritionally balanced meals, but he isn't afraid to eat entire package of Oreos in one day.

He still likes his music loud, but he won't play the Beastie Boys nonstop.

He can still drink his friends under the table, but only does if he's not driving.

He prefers comedies, but he'll watch a romantic chick-flick.

Here's one of my favorite photos of Jeff with some friends and a Medieval Times' princess. Jeff no longer thinks he's king of the universe, but he still enjoys the royal treatment.

Crybaby seeks sensitive bachelorette

Mr. Nice Guy, Jake Pavelka, was chosen as the next ABC "Bachelor." (Warning: Here comes my shameless self promotion.) You can read more here.

Many women found Jake charming and sweet on the Jillian Harris season of "The Bachelorette," but I am not one of those women.

I found him to be a royal Mr. Whiny Pants. Call me old-fashioned, but I like my men dry-eyed. Jake was constantly sobbing over Jillian's lack of interest in his all-American, boy-next-door routine.

I don't know how the Dallas pilot is going to carry an entire season. Maybe instead of handing out roses, Jake can give tissues to his bachelorettes. That might be more useful.


Jake managed to hold back his tears for this promotional photo.

Does my husband like my hair?

I got my hair cut and styled on Saturday. It's not a dramatic change. A few inches were clipped and some highlights were added to cover the increasingly alarming number of gray strands that seem to have made themselves at home on my head.

When I went to work today several men noticed my hair makeover. Yes, men. Maybe the change was more dramatic than I thought.

It was strange. Everyone kept asking, "what does Jeff think?" Um, why would he care? Sure, my hair is shorter and blonder, but it's not like I shaved my head or died my hair purple.

I'm genuinely confused. Anyway here's a photo so you can judge for yourself.


Note to the DMV: I'm not driving. I'm just a passenger in a car that was safely stopped at a traffic light when I took this photo.