Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Denny's gets personal

We're driving home from work when Jeff announces that he wants a grilled cheese sandwich. Um, O.K. let's find the nearest kids' menu.

We go to Denny's. Because Jeff ate there as a kid, he's sure he'll find a grilled cheese on the menu. I think it will be funny. Denny's is the home of the 3 a.m. stuff-your-drunk-face-silly Moons Over My Hammy. Going to Denny's at 7:30 p.m. on a Tuesday? Sure to be funny.

Jeff is frowning after a quick perusal of the menu. No grilled cheese. I'm wondering how old you need to be to order a "senior special." The entire back page of the menu is devoted to the blue-haired set.

Jeff brushes off his disappointment and settles on the Moons Over My Hammy. I decide the meatloaf is the funniest thing on the menu. It will be accompanied by mashed potatoes with brown gravy and veggie of the day. I think veggie of the day is a funny concept. Is it just the special day for one vegetable? Do the veggies ever have to share their days with other veggies? I hope it's broccoli's day.

The waitress writes down our order and closes her notepad. She doesn't walk away. She's still standing there staring at me. I give her an unsure smile. She leans toward me. "Uh, do you have a personal item?" she asks. "Um, are you serious?" I want to reply. Instead, I rustle through my purse. No luck.

She walks away. Wait. Do I have one in the car? Jeff thinks so, he walks out of the diner. He returns empty handed. Really? I'm sure there are some in the glove compartment. Nope, no Advil.

Advil? That's not the "personal item" the waitress needs.

I explain. Jeff confirms that there are in fact several personal items in the car.

I leave the restaurant. I return with two items. I find the waitress keying an order into a computer. I give her my finds. She's grateful. Very grateful. Yes! I'm certain my meatloaf will be free of spit.

The food arrives. A different Denny's employee brings the plates. My hopes of a spit-free meal have dwindled. The meatloaf tastes awful, but it is broccoli's special day. Yay!

We leave Denny's. We laugh. See, Denny's is funny.

2 comments:

Erin D. said...

Are you really telling me that your waitress asked you for a tampon? That really has to be in the "what not to do" rules for servers!

Dawn said...

Yes, that's exactly what I'm telling you. Can you believe it? It was probably THE strangest encounter I've ever had with a server. Well, since I stopped being one anyway.